He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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