ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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