I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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