that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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