She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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