you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
