It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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