So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
