____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
