I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
