Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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