I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
