I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
