NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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