I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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