As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
