He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
