watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
