It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
