is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
