sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
