woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
