found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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