ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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