god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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