May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
