The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize