pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
