i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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