you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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