you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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