do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
