My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you had me at cake vodka
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
