He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize