I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
