Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
