therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
