Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
