Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
