Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
