why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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