Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
