I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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