My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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