Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
