Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
