There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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