I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its not stalking. its research.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
