so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
