STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
