Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
