how can u be prego again
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
