He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
