I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
do herpes really smell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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