I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wear drunk well.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
