What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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