I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
