I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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